Sea

I am afraid of seas.I keep thinking that it's going to drown me.

I have been afraid for a long time that instead of diving directly into the water. I always stay by the shore knowing that whatever waves that touched it, it will eventually go away. It’s always been that way—like waves hitting a shore--- sometimes hitting the shore violently so intense that it will carry you away, sometimes it drowns the shore, sometimes it hits you hard and leave you gasping for air, but there are times when it is calm. It can be any way but none the less, abrupt, sudden like death.

But there are times that I would give in to the urge to go far from the shore, venture into the deeper part of the waters and put my fears behind,  indulge in the feeling of not touching the ground. Floating, dulling my senses and just stay in that moment of peace but even with the safety of the moment, I get uncomfortable.

I’ve been used to the waves in the shore and the occasional floating but with you, I want more and I want it all.

You are the sea to my sunset. No matter how long and how far I am from you, I always end up with you.

I see myself clearly in you that I am starting to rediscover beauty and believe that I am capable of it.   I thought I can no longer be anything but ordinary but the thought of being with you again turns me into all synonyms and pictures of breath taking.

I’ll always end up with you that it makes me look forward to every ending. I know that I could rest and lay down my fears, even in full clothing you can strip me naked but you loved me even in my bareness that I no longer feel afraid. You engulf my entirety slowly that even in your vastness I feel secure, until all resistance fade. Gently tucking me in slowly until  I am drowning beautifully in your depth;  inch by inch and all at once everything I am and I will ever be. When you pull me close to you, when you make us one, you take all of me, not a piece is left behind: every piece that burns which cannot be defied, every heat that in nature kills, every light that is welcomed and blocked. 

 It is with only with you that I want to disappear, so take all of me. In you, I’ll drown willingly.

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-D.B.R.S, 9 April 2014